Top Ten Ways to be Awesome at Parenting

We are overwhelmed with an infinite supply of opinions and experiments and ideas on how to be an exceptional parent. So much advice, so many do’s and don’ts, so many rules.

Between morning shows, the interwebs and entire bookstores dedicated to parenting books (Jokes. No one reads books), there’s a tonne of information to get through to learn how to not fuck up your kids. Which is why I have graciously taken the time to compile a handy, bite-sized listicle of the top ten parenting tips you need to help you raise the best child you can.

1: Stop reading articles/blogs on the internet on how to parent

2: Stop taking unsolicited advice from experts, neighbours, studies and Instagram mummies

3 – 10: Just stop! Turn the TV off, put the book down and step away from your computer.

I’m sure that when some angry parent takes to the internet with a handy list of ‘ways not to fuck up your kids for life’, they’re probably coming from a good place with great intentions. And I have no doubt in my mind that when morning shows run a segment on “Things shit parents do and how to stop doing them”, they’ve got nothing but love for the mumma’s and daddy’s giving it a red hot go.

This isn’t about putting shit on why and what people write and talk about. Something about a pot, a kettle and so on. This is more a shout out to all the parents out there. Solidarity bitches.


I am in a remarkable FB group full of extraordinary women. It’s so rare to have a group on social media that doesn’t descend to petulant name-calling and white-hot rage when there’s a difference of opinion. This group has nothing but love and sass.

There was a thread on some study that was shown on some show about some things that parents are shit at and how they’re getting it all wrong, etc. On this thread, one person made this comment:



When I was born, my mum was 23 and my dad 26. Apart from Dr Spock, they didn’t have any “experts” calling them out daily on their parenting skills. They just got on with it, did what worked best at the time and muddled along. Much like I do (and I was 34 when I had my firstborn) – except everywhere I turn these days there’s an “expert” reminding me what I’m not doing enough of, or what I’m doing too much of. And there’s a covert layer of guilt implanted in all of it.

PREACH! I think, and I’m no expert, that no matter how many kids you’ve had, how many degrees you have, no matter how much Dr Phil you’ve watched, you can’t ever give any parent advice on how to raise their kid. For two incredibly simple reasons, all parents are different and all kids are different. End of.

So stop reading about how shit you are as a parent and back yourself! Is your kid happy? Yep. Then you’re fucking nailing it. Enough with the noise. The next “Top Ten Tips on Parenting” blog you see, scroll the fuck on my friend. (But keep reading this blog. We’re great. ) You don’t need that shit. You’re awesome. You do you.

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